Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
