Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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