oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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