at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
