dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
