I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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