SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
