You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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