i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
