OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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