im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
