Screwed.edu
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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