i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
