I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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