Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
