the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
