i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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