trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
