apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
