she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
