third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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