I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
They have beer where we have blood.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
