yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
