Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize