I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize