I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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