ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
