I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
