i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
