turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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