That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize