Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What a dumb baby whore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
