i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize