Just cropdusted the office
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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