it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
