Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
