Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
