508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
