i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
