how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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