So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
