I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
