Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
