Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
