Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was born a porn star she said
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
