You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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