I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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