Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
