I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
