before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
