Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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