the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize