Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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