You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
