No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
