now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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