I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
