remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
