Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
tell me about the fingering
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