Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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