No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
