Don't you send me to vm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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