oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize