I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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