Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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