i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
