don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
