I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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