in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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