i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm like, not good at living.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
