at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
