is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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