To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
